Learning to Live in the Between

You’ve heard the phrase 0 to 100, right? I like to apply that to how I live my life…I’m a very black and white, 0 to 100 kinda girl. You won’t find me living much of my life in the gray area.

However, a lot of “life” happens in that gray area. You don’t go to bed 16 and wake up 26, even if you look at your 16 year-old-self as the “before” and your 26 year-old-self the “after”, you’ve still got 10 years of living in that in between. See where I’m going with this?

I came across this quote the other day and it resonated with me in a profound way. After my therapy session this morning, I realized why.

Most of my life has been lived in the extremes. Especially when it comes to my health. I’ve had some really high highs and some reallllly low lows, and living in that nicely balanced gray area is where consistency happens, which is something I’m desperately working toward.

The truth is: I’ve never truly been mentally AND physically healthy at the same time. Ever. Like, I can’t recall an extended period of time where I was both mentally and physically sound, and that is a hard pill to swallow.

So, where do I go from here? Being self aware is just the half of it. Once you accomplish that, you have to actually implement what you’ve learned to better everyday living. Patience is not a quality I possess, but I’m working on it. We as a society love to look for quick fixes, whether it’s a diet pill for rapid weight loss or a stupidly high-interest loan just because you can’t wait any longer for that latest purchase. We want fast. We want easy. But we can’t solve the world’s problems with quick fixes.

I’ve been overweight, I’ve been super fit, I’ve been completely mentally unstable and I’ve been mentally sound. But I’ve never been emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally healthy all at once. And that my friends, is the golden ticket to happy living.

Validation is something I look for in all areas of life. I love to get it and I love to give it out. However, I find myself especially lingering on words people say about my appearance. Whether it’s positive or negative, I linger.

But I can’t forget why I started: To feel better, live a fuller life and share my light with the world. I’m doing this for ME and MY health, not any one else. So why give other people’s words so much power?

I do believe part of my beauty is my lack of in betweens. When I’m sad, I’m sad. When I’m happy, I’m absolutely elated! Passionate would be a good way to describe me. HOWEVER, I need to remember that the majority of life is lived in the middle. Consistency is what you do every day over time. The little things. The everyday habits.

They add up, and suddenly your “gray area” becomes your “after”.

I’m working toward my after, but I sure as hell won’t forget why it’s important to be consistent and patient. I’m learning to enjoy living life in the between.

xoxo,

HB

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